Why Can't You Just Accept it? How Big Changes are Messing with Your Mental Health

When life throws you curveballs, it’s easy to feel off balance. You keep swinging – because that’s what a man does, right? But for some reason, lately everything you do feels off the mark. 

Whether you’re moving away from home, started a new career or found out you’re expecting a new baby, change can be tough to adjust to. 

Why change is so tough – especially for men

Change is known to be one of life’s significant stressors.

Even when the change is good, it still represents a new way of doing things and changes to your identity.

For some men, identity can be deeply tied to certain roles or behaviours, making it harder to navigate significant changes, especially if the new way of doing things could be perceived as ‘weaker’ or less manly. 

For example, maybe you’ve always been considered the ‘guy’s guy,’ and think of yourself as tough and outwardly untouchable. Your weekends are spent taking road trips on bikes, with nights at the pub with mates. 

Now suddenly there’s a baby on the way.

You always wanted to be a dad – one day. And your girl is a stunner, inside and out. 

So, what the heck is the problem, you wonder. Why aren’t you floating on cloud 9?

What we now know is that even good change can rattle us. While a whole range of feelings is normal when change is on the way, this doesn’t mean going it alone is the best option. 

Working through change

So, if going it alone isn’t ideal, what’s the best way to go?

The good news is that there are a number of different strategies that can help you get back on your game sooner. 

While the stigma against asking for help has been disastrous for men’s mental health historically, nowadays taking action when things are tough means speaking up and finding the support you need to get back on track. 

Here are some options to try:

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) –This has been shown to help individuals accept their current feelings and learn to align actions with values. This moves you through the tough emotions and towards better outcomes.

Motivational Interviewing (MI) – Similarly, motivational interviewing can be useful in helping you clarify what is important to you and work through any conflicted or ambivalent feelings so that you can adjust more effectively. 

To get started, explore ACT therapy Melbourne and Motivational Interviewing Melbourne. With a little support from psychologists Fitzroy residents can come out on top of these changes, stronger and more connected. 

While these therapies have been shown to be effective for many individuals, the suitability of a particular treatment plan should always be discussed with a licensed therapist who can provide a comprehensive evaluation.